Time

Time goes on.

It won't let you stop and take a picture of all the memories.

It won't let you have the great amazing smile shine from ear to ear.

And it certainly won't let you enjoy that moment forever.

The greatest moments of anyone's life will always be for a short moment of time,

Time goes...

Time goes on.

Like a ticking time bomb

Waiting for one thing to go wrong and BOOM!

That great feeling,

Is now gone and in the past.

Time goes on...

Time goes on.

It rapidly moves on.

As if when you blink,

It's over and done,

And there's no going back.

Time goes on...

Time goes on.

Though they are short,

They are great so when they happen,

Don’t ruin the moment,

And make it count,

Because time goes on,

And so does life.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Is it a bad thing that I vividly remember all the bad things in life? That I can't remember the last time that I was truly happy, without someone screwing up that moment? I remember the fights. The screaming. The crying. The times when I felt all alone in the world, and there was no one to talk to.  I thought my thoughts couldn't be shared because no one could ever understand what I've been through and understand me.

The reason I enjoyed the poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" was because it hit close to home with me. The last couple of years I've been through a lot in my life, with my family and friends. This poem talks about how good things only stay for a short time and that they also don't come that often. Frost makes a few analogies that all go with the theme of nature, which was made perfectly. One thing I really enjoyed about this poem was that I understood it. Usually I can never understand poems truly. I may get the basic thought down, but that's not what the author was trying to convey. What they usually go for is a deeper thought that makes you think more, and isn't too obvious to find. Frost nailed this poem and kept it very simple, with little words, and to the point. That nothing good can last forever, also that Nothing Gold Can Stay.

Wondering and Waiting

Author's Note:

Million of thoughts have been in my head lately. Some people are gaining, while others are losing my trust. In the writing piece I wanted to tell a story without actually saying it. I wanted to have the reader be able to get the message, but have it be harder to find. 

Wondering and Waiting

I keep wondering and waiting. Wondering if you really do you care about me. Waiting to see if you'll put the effort to come and spend time with me. When we talk, you reassure me thinking that everything is okay and you'll always be there for me. When in the end, you’re not. This leaves me depressed and hopeless at that point.

Make the commitment you're willing to put in for others, but why not me? You make it seem like you like me, when in reality you could care less. Think I'm stupid and too naïve to notice? Well you’re wrong. I can see right through your games, and then you tell me that it's okay and you’re sorry, but the saddest part is that I believe you. I keep responding. Just one message from you can put the biggest smile on my face from ear to ear.

In my head I keep telling myself to move on because he'll be leaving soon. While I'll still be here, but then in my heart I tell myself go for it. Don't live your life regretting everything and wishing you could have done something when you didn't. That'll be the worst mistake of all. I don't want to get caught though, in a bunch of lies. Don't want them to find out, and never put trust in me ever again, but is it worth the risk? That's the biggest question. Are you worth it?

Author’s Note:

In the writing piece I wanted to show emotion and really try my best on what it feels to be alone and isolated.

Tell Tale Heart Response

Do you ever get the feeling when you walk into a room and you know everyone is talking about you? I have. It's probably one of the most uncomfortable feeling ever. Not knowing what they’re thinking kills you, so all you do is sit in silence, wondering.

In this short story the main character grows more insane through the whole story. Through obsession and insanity he goes mad. Especially when cops come into his house looking for the victim that he killed. He begins to think that he can hear the beating heart of the old man under the floor, but in reality it’s all in his head, it's actually his heart beating louder and louder.

Though some people can be weird and a little creepy, are they really obsessed? Obsessed is when your whole world revolves around one thing and you can’t stop thinking about it no matter how hard you try. Obsessed is where you come to the point of where you’re hurting yourself. You don’t have to be obsessed with a person you could just be obsessed with another person’s part of their body. In the short story I read “Tell Tale Heart” the main character is obsessed not with the old man that he wakes up to see at midnight every night, but his eye. Every night he stares at him, not moving just standing there, slowly opening his lantern shining a small amount of light on just his eye, or in his case “the eye of a vulture” which is what the old man thinks of his eye. There is no logical reason of why the man watched him for countless hours of the night.

This short story was very hard for me to connect with because I’ve never been obsessed with anyone or anything before. The way I connected with it was in a totally different way. I thought about the old man instead of the main character. I thought of the fear he must have had when he abruptly woke up and knew someone was watching him. The author did a great job in that scene of the story of playing with fear. It’s a really creepy and scary feeling when you're in your bed alone, late at night, vulnerable. Not having anywhere to run or hide, and as the main character is watching him it made the old man feel vulnerable. This is what I feel sometimes, feeling as if people are watching, staring, thinking and talking about you. You feel just off balance, awkward, and many more emotions all wrapped in one all at the same time, and you don’t know what to do, or how to act. In the story the man just listened and was just sitting on his bed waiting for the main character to make a move which is exactly what I do except in different terms. There are many moments when you get that feeling that people are watching you and you don’t know what to do. Your heart stops, and your body is silent for seconds or minutes not knowing how to respond. Your ears are chiming in, seeing if you can interpret any of the words that come out of their mouths. Then, you give up just like how the victim in the story gave up on listening for the main character when he fell asleep.

The fear of being alone and isolated from the world is part of what the author is trying to tell us. That if you take away family and friends and anything happy in your life it can make you go insane. Where sometimes your thoughts can get twisted, and make you go crazy. Another thing that he might have been trying to convey is the fear of not knowing what others are thinking. It can drive you crazy and you come up with things in your head that they can be thinking. The idea is to keep love ones close to you so you don’t fall from reality and go into your own world, being alone. Being alone is the worst feeling in the world. It’s the feeling of loneliness and sadness.

Authors Note:

For the first time I wrote a more advanced stream of consciousness focusing on a certain thought. Mine hit close to heart because family is really important to me especially now that my brother went to college. 

Family, spending time with the ones we love.

Always there for me, always there to lend an ear and listen when I'm feeling blue, always there to match my mood, always there when I need a shoulder to cry on. Family is always there for me.

Family is so precious to me, especially now.  Now that one of the members is gone, and I only see him every so often. It's not the same anymore; one spot at the dinner table is now empty. Leaving me feel awkward that now I sit were he once did, but when I see him every month for a couple of days, I thought he would start to show some compassion now that he lives two hours from home. Though he doesn't show his love as much as I would like, it hides the pain. The pain of not seeing him and not sharing countless laughs with him. When we do hide the love it takes us away from reality on how we don't get to see him every day. The best part when he is home is having that warm feeling that everything is in place.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Jordan,

The family will never be the same anymore. I will never be able to see you every day like I have in the past. You will never drive me to practice having the radio blasted piercing my ears. We will never have trench ball games one on one, on the trampoline ever again. I will never have the daily reminder on how you hate sharing germs. I will never have my Tuesday and Friday nights of watching you play basketball even though the coach was a complete moron, which is why he is the assistant coach now. I will never have the school nights of watching Glee with you, and everyone else. I will never hear you make your impressions of Jersey Shore. It will never be the same without one piece of the puzzle. It's different when you’re not around; I love you with all my heart. I miss you dearly, have fun and go crazy, but still work hard in college. See you soon!

Love your Little Sister,

Katie