Secret Life of Bees

T-Ray

They're so mean to me. They don't understand me. They hate me. They don’t care about me.

These are the thoughts that constantly roll through my head, but then I watch movies, and read books about horrible parents. The same words always appear, "based on a true story". This instantly draws you in. How they abuse their children and do horrible, terrible things to them. Which makes me think, how can you say that you love your child, if you're willing to put make them through pain and depression? Which makes me think again, maybe my parents aren't as bad as I think they are.

In the book The Secret Life of Bees, Lily's father, T- Ray and most other parents don't get how hurting your kid by "spanking them" or other things isn't the best solution for making them learn from their mistakes. A mistake is the key word. Mistakes are what everyone learns from. So why should kids be penalized from making a mistake? This is where parents and in particular T-Ray falls short. He lets Lily down and isn't the father that she desperately needs in this stage of her life. Her mother is gone. A mother and daughter relationship is so important, and so much different from a father and daughters relationship. There are certain things that a dad can't do as well as a mother, but what they can do is support them, and be there for them, which he doesn't do. You need to nurture them and make them feel loved and wanted as much as possible. They're your responsibility and you made the decision to bring them into the world, so now you must own up to it, and take the initiative and make a positive impact on their life.

My interpretation of what the author is trying to get at is that T-Ray is a evil father and  is showing you completely what not to do when being a parent, and also how inconsiderate of Lily's emotions and is lacking respect for her. Towards the end of the book I would assume that their relationship will get even more heated then it already is between them.